OK, so the
whole hamster thing started aeons ago, when I was just a little
shaver. (See the bio, or WHO? page) I was about 3 and somehow I
ended up responsible for murdering our family hamster. I've never
gotten over it. According to those that were there and older, I
tried to hug it too hard. Ehh...what can I say? S*** happens...I
was THREE.
So
fast forward to 2003. I ended up with a rather strange condition
from sitting in front of the computer too long...its not like there
wasn't any reason for it. I have high blood pressure and heart
issues. Add that to the fact that I had surgery to replace a
demolished Anterior Cruciate Ligament in my left knee, and I was an
accident waiting to happen. The specs on this condition can be found
here:
So I am a
bit predisposed to having NDE's from things like this. When I had my
surgery, I had the most idiotic surgeon I could possibly find, a Dr.
Davis, in Colorado---{OH! PLEASE try and sue me...idiot.} This guy
forgot that I was in his examining room more times than I can count.
He also forgot to order any post op pain medication before leaving
out of town AND out of reach for 3 days. What an ass...The day after
I went home my leg ballooned up. I had developed a blood clot. When
they took the bandages off my leg its the only time that I have ever
seen my rather jaded husband look sick---he went absolutely
green.
So
now back to the present day...You can get really almost dead from
sitting at a computer too long. I know, I know...I was as shocked as
you... I ran across a web site where someone else had the same
thing--- only from airplanes. Its a common thing this blood clot
stuff. Its also known as DVT---or Deep Vein Thrombosis. Here
is the other link:
Its the
lead singer and flute player from Jethro Tull. He got the airplane
variety. Now you are probably wondering what any of this has to do
with hamsters, right? I'm getting there...just hold them horses...
So
while I'm recovering and it was a rough one...Gar decides that I
need something to care for. The dogs are getting up there and don't
do much but bark and lay around the house. Much like me... So he
goes and gets me a hamster. Now first of all, I REALLY didn't want
another animal. Especially not a rodent, and not one that my last
experience was with included hamstercide, death and a funeral. But
he got one anyway. So he brings home this hamster that shall be
known from this time forth as Willow.
(Because
that is her name.) Me, ever mindful of everyone else's needs,
decided that Willow wasn't happy all by herself and wanted a FEMALE
friend. I was NOT about to turn into a rodent farm. So off Gar goes
to get Willow a friend. Being highly influenced by BtVS,
I decided to name her friend Tara.
Now
I have not one, but TWO rodents living in a cage. Nice cage, too.
Only one problem...they hate each other. It was apparent from the
very start...the second we put Tara into the cage with Willow, Tara
started screaming. And screaming, and screaming...every day it was
another 50 rounds of Hamster Smackdown.
Which
was extraordinarily hard on my nerves and my little feelers. Tara is
a crybaby and Willow is a bully---so there was no hope for anything
resembling peace between the two. I'd have better luck making Prez
Shrub see reason and stop this stupid war mongering. Not to mention
any hope of getting any much needed healing sleep. Hamsters being
nocturnal and all.
There
were serious issues regarding the wheel to nowhere. Fights would
break out all night over the wheel. Getting another wheel didn't
help, either. All it did was give them something new and different
to fight about.
In
short, I was losing my mind. We even tried getting them another cage
and joining them together. Which didn't work out too well. So now we
have two lonely hamsters that live in separate cages. Now everyone
has a cage and I no longer have to listen to HAMSTER SMACKDOWN,
round 5,000,000....
As
for my DVT? I still have blood pressure and heart issues...but I
take blood thinning stuff now, and I have a bicycle that goes
absolutely nowhere next to the computer that I try to get on for a
few minutes every hour. Keeps the blood clot issue down to a
minimum. I do however see eerily bizarre similarities between me and
the hamsters on the wheels to nowhere...If you spend long hours at a
computer like I do, PLEASE get up and exercise, or at least move
around. The life you save could definitely be your own. And
remember, hamsters don't necessarily want or need a friend.
Laura
Hamsterific
Part II, Or
Most
people, if they decide that they need to keep a pet to calm and
soothe their ragged nerves, get fish. Fish seem to be a great stress
reliever. They swim around in their little fishy tanks and for the
most part there isn't the screaming. With hamsters there is
screaming. Not a real good stress buster---let me tell ya'. So when
I heard hamster screaming, I came running. This was different than
Tara's usual "Willow, you're too close to me and I'm going
to tell the 'BIG HAND'" scream. This sounded like sheer
terror.
Since
I was in another part of the house, I bolted to rescue
the poor defenseless hamster, whichever one it was that found
themselves in this life threatening situation. This time it was
Willow. She had climbed up on top of the wheel and was trying to
run on top of it.
Problem
was, she was getting caught between the wheel and the plastic
platform that holds their food and acts as a mock-second story in
the "Magickal, Mystical, Wonderful, Colorful Plastic Rodent
Palace." Now, mind you, this was before Willow was somewhat
hand tame. Which in short means that every time I put my hand near
either one of them, they attacked ferociously with their hamster
teeth until they drew blood. {Willow is getting better. I have a
nasty feeling that Tara will be feral until she goes to meet the
Hamster Maker.}
I
immediately threw the cage door open, reached in and pulled out a
little ball of squirming, terrified, BITING hamster. Do you
think she was at all grateful for my quick save? Not on your life.
She looked at me rather indignantly and sunk her teeth into my hand.
But it was worth it. I felt that I had redeemed myself for the
hamstercide those many years ago.
It
took all of 5 seconds before she climbed back up there and did it
again. I thought that surely she would quit after a few seconds and
it would stop. But does the agony EVER stop? I think
not... Michael Jackson is controlling the airwaves right now...I
rest my case.
So
all day long, it was EXTREME HAMSTER SPORTS! It wouldn't have been
so bad, but she got Tara all excited about doing it. Now, granted,
they hated each other with a passion---but when one is having the
thrill ride of a lifetime the other isn't going to sit idly by and
let that happen...not without getting in on the action. It actually
became the next thing they found to fight about---who was going to
get to commit suicide first. This all started at 9:00 AM. By the
time Gar got home at 6:00, I was a wreck.
When
he came in the door, he took one look at me and decided against
asking how my day was. As he reached over to kiss me, Tara started
screaming. He wheeled around and started for the cage until I
quietly told him through clenched teeth, "Don't bother, its
been going on since right after you left this morning." Which
of course led to a detailed account of the newest hamster
trick.
We
already had a paper-towel roll hooked to the cage over the wheel,
but that didn't even begin to stop the problem. They got around that
easily by suicide-leaping AROUND the tube. It was even more fun and
exciting, AND DANGEROUS if the other hamster was running in
the wheel at the same time. Granted, you could play this sport solo
by running on top of the wheel. But it didn't have that added
element of danger that came with knowing you were not in control of
the wheel if and when it decided to crush the life out of your little
hamster body.
Gar
being the absolutely amazing problem solver that he is
figured out that we would have to double the efforts and double the
paper-towel roll that was covering the wheel up until then. He
managed to bread-tie the rolls together and make a double tunnel
system out of the rolls.
The
screaming and extreme sports have stopped. But every once in awhile
I catch Willow desperately chewing at the rolls---trying to tear the
bridge down that is probably saving her life.
What
I learned from this is that even hamsters, when given a choice, will
do stupid things that will eventually kill them. Much like us. And
everyone, even hamsters, are looking for that thrill---that next
thing that lets them know they are alive.
If
I find anything else amusing about life as a rodent owner, I'll be
sure and post it here. I hope you have enjoyed your glimpse into my
recovery...its been...weird.
